This is the twelfth week of Fat Chick vs. Food. I have been officially at this for three months, so I think it’s time to take stock of who is actually winning this contest.
In the left corner we have Fat Chick, wearing sweatpants, a ponytail and a t-shirt she pulled out of a case of beer. She’s looking leaner than we last saw her, and sitting in her corner are her friends Determination, Strength of Will and the Desire for Nicer Clothes.
In the right hand corner we have Food, wearing a potato chip bag and glazed donut bracelets. Food has taken a beating these last few rounds, but is still standing and should not be underestimated at this point in our competition. In Food’s corner we have his friends Indulgence, Stress and Insecurity.
We’re only a third of the way in and think we’re going to have to call it in Fat Chick’s favor......so far. Food has put forth an impressive effort, especially with a very strong starting line up that includes beer, wine, nachos, pizza and cheeseburgers. However, Fat Chick has shown a remarkable counter offensive that includes the gym, bootcamp, squash, vegetables and Trainer Lady.
So here we are, three months in. Food is tricky and has landed a few good blows, so we can’t count him out yet. Complacency, Self Doubt and Beer on the Deck are all ringers Food has just signed to contract and they may see a spot in the starting line up in the very near future. Fat Chick is going to have to keep vigilant and be ready to take Food out at the knees. No more fucking around, Fat Chick. You better be prepared to pop a cap in his ass, sista. True dat, yo!!!
Uhhh……sorry. I guess Fat Chick sometimes forgets she’s a chubby white girl living in Saskatchewan. All 'gangsta's' write in the third person, don't they?
I lost another 2.5 pounds this week, bringing the total to 20.5 pounds down. I have 39.5 pounds to go. Wow, 39 pounds sounds so much better than sixty.