Hi there! Yes, I know it’s Tuesday but I have been VERY busy lately. This fulltime job thing is really starting to impinge upon my blogging.
The first week of operation fat-no-more went fairly well. It could have been better, but I think I did alright since it was the first week out of the gate.
On the food side of things I put forth a respectable effort other than Saturday night. I was good all day, but then I had to attend my brother-in-law’s birthday party that night. I ate before I left (a nice greek salad with chicken) and gave myself a pep talk the whole way over – “you will not eat all that shit the SIL will have covering every table of her house. You will drink only the mineral water you are bringing with you…”
When I first got there I was fine! Just some chips and cheese and crackers out – no biggy! I wasn’t hungry so I managed to stay away from them. Then, the SIL brings out a warm gooey goodness in the form of a ham and cheesy garlic dip baked right into a hollowed out loaf of french bread. What did she do with the part of the loaf she removed you ask? She cut it into little pieces so her guests could use the white fluffy french bread to eat the warm gooey goodness cheesy ham garlic dip. Yikes! I started madly affirming in my head –
“You will not eat all that shit the SIL will have covering every table of her house. You will drink only the mineral water you are bringing with you…” … You will not eat all that shit the SIL will have covering every table of her house. You will drink only the mineral water you are bringing with you…”
OK, mild panic, but I think I can get through it. Can I? Wait! Is that my arm going for a piece of bread? No! Stop!! What are you doing?? OMG!! Wha..!? You look like you’re going to use it to eat that dip! You ARE going for the dip! STOP! STOP!! Noooooooo………
I think you know how that ended. Alright, so I indulged in a little bread and warm gooey goodness cheesy ham garlic dip. Not TOO bad; I didn’t pig out as much as I normally would have, so that’s good, right?
But then the SIL brought out dessert. Do you know what sadistic unspeakable atrocity she created? This. For those of you too lazy to click anything right now let me sum up. This is not just any cheese ball, but a ball made from cream cheese, butter, icing sugar, brown sugar, vanilla and chocolate chips. All rolled together, chilled and covered in nuts. And just for fun she brought out chocolate graham wafers to eat it with.
So what did I do? The same thing millions who have been dealing with the food thing for years before me have done –
“Well, since I’ve already fallen off the wagon with the warm gooey goodness cheesy ham garlic dip, I might as well go whole hog and eat the cheese ball! Right? What do you mean I’m making it worse? Fuck you Inner Voice, that cheese ball looks AWESOME. Yes, I said fuck you. I’m Food Addiction and I am bigger and louder than you are right now. Huh? What do you mean I’m too fat to eat that? Who cares! At the moment I am kicking your skinny little ass all over the place. Just ask your woefully put upon stomach while it’s digesting the warm gooey goodness cheesy ham garlic dip. Oh yeah? You are no match for me – just watch this!! That’s right; I just had a handful of BBQ chips as a chaser. Don’t fuck with me Inner Voice…..
Yeah, so that was Saturday. The rest of the weekend went better than most weekends, but I did end up overeating a bit on Sunday. Not horribly bad, but Inner-Voice was still rallying the troops and organizing a counter offensive at that point so Food Addiction made more headway that he should have. However, the last few days Inner Voice has made a come back and she is ready to kick some ass. It’s -40 and snowing like a bastard and she is still making me haul my ass to the gym tonight. Go inner voice go!
I lost 1.6 pounds last week. 58.4 to go.