Monday, September 21, 2009

Fat Chick vs. Food - Week Four

I wasn’t able to get to my fat lady boot camp classes as planned because it was a very busy week at work and I had to work some evenings. This means I’ve missed two classes and I’m worried the other fat ladies won’t accept me now. Then I’ll be the loser who will be standing there alone when it’s time to pick a partner. That means I’ll have to pair up with Trainer Lady and next to her I look like Dom Deluise in girly workout clothes. Minus the beard, of course.

Speaking of Trainer Lady, she’s pretty fucking awesome. I don’t even have to suppress the urge to make fun of her, because while yes, she’s is iddy biddy and probably needs to wear weighted shoes when it’s windy outside, she somehow manages to never make me feel like a big fat person she feels sorry for. I like that about her. I’ve known other fitness crazed people in my life, and pretty much all of them were raging douche bags or mindless bimbos who would say the snottiest things ever and then try to wipe it all away with an extremely insincere, “Just kidding!”

The other amazing part about her is the never ending bag of crazy exercise tricks she’s got up her sleeve. Every time I see her she’s got some new horrible, yet beautifully effective (read: torturous) exercise for me to do. I’ve never been able to stump her, and it’s hysterical because she LOVES that shit. I have a theory that she really wanted to be a dominatrix but decided to go into kinesiology because she needed a profession she could tell her parents about.

So, I guess what I’m saying is that if you happen to be in the south Saskatchewan area, and you are fat or gimpy or both, get a hold or Trainer Lady. She’ll whip you good.

Probably not in *that* way though.