Monday, May 18, 2009

Fat Chick vs. Food - Week Twenty

Dear Body:

While Fat Chick's enthusiasm is often a pleasant addition, she is very easily distracted. The next twenty weeks should be pretty telling when determining the overall success of project ‘Quit Being So Fat, Yo’.

Working out: B-
FC's effort this term has been hit and miss. While she is sometimes extremely motivated, she is easily sidetracked by various occasions such as going away parties and long weekends. It would work in her favor to develop a plan well in advance of the week and make more of an effort to stick with it. She has, however, made some marvelous improvements to her strength, balance, and endurance levels. I am excited to learn that she has agreed to run as part of a relay team in the Queen City Marathon this September. With a continued focus on training, I am hopeful she won’t make a total ass of herself or break something. I’m not laying bets though.

Balanced Diet: C-
FC is able to stick to her diet regime during the week, but on the weekends she eats like she was just kicked off of Survivor. Finding a balance and observing a healthy diet throughout the week would work towards the ultimate goal of moving from Fat Chick to Hot Chick. Laying off the booze would also be advisable. Amy Whinehouse is plenty skinny, if you get what I'm sayin'.

Overall progress to date: C+
Week twenty and Fat Chick is down some noticeable pounds. A reasonable weight loss by this point would be between 40 and 45 pounds, and FC is currently sitting at a weight loss of 27 pounds. Acceptable, but not exactly awe inspiring. Given the current obstacles in her way (work, kids, finances, lazy) she is meeting expectations. With some increased dedication and additional focus, Fat Chick shows a lot of potential. Keep up the good work FC!

Dear Conscience:

Yeah, I know. I’m trying, but it’s not that easy to change years of bad habits and neurosis. I’m working on it, and it’s always top of my mind, and every time I cheat I feel really guilty about it which is all thanks to you. I don’t want to cheat, but…well, it’s finally summer and that comes with some stuff like eating nachos and drinking beer. Okay, so I did that during the winter too, but it’s so much more satisfying during the summer. And, I still really miss my co-workers and they were getting together this weekend, and what’s a girl to do? I know, I know. I’m going to stop. Honest. Quit looking at me that way. I mean it. Fuck off.

I did lose three pounds this week. I have 33 to go.