Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Yeah, they're Weirdos - but they're MY Weirdos.

I only have one more week at my current job, and I’m starting to freak out a little. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s time to leave and I am excited about moving on to something better, but I have gone to the same place and been surrounded by the same people everyday for five years. Some of these people have become genuine friends that I know I will stay in touch with, but a lot of them I will potentially never see again. It’s making me a little sad, so I am going to take this time to bid adieu to some of the work people who didn’t quite make the transition into my real life, and will therefore be completely out of my world in one short week:

The ‘Good Morning’ Guy: Good Morning Guy comes to work everyday and says good morning to everybody. Literally. If four people are standing around talking in a group, he doesn’t just issue one general ‘good morning’, he says it four times in a row. “Good morning! Good morning! Good morning! Good morning!” He works in the very last back office, so he can usually hit just about everyone on his way by.

The Gratuitous Swearer: The Gratuitous Swearer manages to incorporate the words ‘fuck’, ‘shit’, ‘motherfucker’, ‘twat’ and various other profanities into every conversation, regardless if it’s work related or not. It’s kind of like working with George Carlin. It doesn’t matter if we’re in a meeting or just in the lunchroom, the Gratuitous Swearer lets it rip. I tend to have my own potty mouth (as I’m sure you’ve figured out if you have been reading this blog with any kind of regularity), but I’m a very ‘appropriate time and place’ kind of swearer. Swearing in front of clients or the powers-that-be seems in terribly bad taste to me, but it amuses me to no end when GS does it.

The Bawler: The Bawler cries about something at least once a week for various reasons. She has an extreme emotional response to being happy, sad, overwhelmed, angry, or confused. It wouldn’t be so bad if she wasn’t a senior manager, but she is. And, she bursts into tears all the time, even in meetings. Awkward.

Cutie Pie: The most adorable guy ever. Not only is he adorable, but he is a dream to work with. I never have to deal with any bullshit when I'm working on a project with him. I love this dude. He is a man of few words, but when he does talk he always says something great. Just being around him makes me happy. Who am I going to fantasize about in meetings now?

The Fishbowl: – Our technical staff sit in an all glass room and geek-out all day long. About three years ago I made the mistake of asking them something about a satellite dish, and now they tell me about every new techy sky-based computer thingy and are under the mistaken impression that I’m interested. I’ve never had the heart to tell them I don’t really give a shit. They are all single.

Monty Hall: If you need something, any random thing, Monty Hall has it at her desk. I don’t know if she is psychic or a pack-rat, but I haven’t been able to stump her in five years. When I’m a little bored I think of the most random out-there thing in the world and then I go ask Monty if she has it. She ALWAYS does.

TMI: Too Much Information – guess what she’s like? I know WAY more than I care to about her menstrual cycles, sexual history, finances and digestive system.

I’m really going to miss these folks in all their quirky glory. Speaking of quirky, head on over to Sprite's Keeper's place for the Spin Cycle! This week's topic, as it turns out....quirks! Finally - I fit right in.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Random Tuesday - a little BLLLAAAAHHHH


It’s Tuesday, and I’m having a hard time being Random. I’m a little OCD so this meme kind of stresses me out. What the hell is a meme, anyway? Is it just a blog related word that only comes up in cyberland, or is my vocabulary woefully inadequate? Or, shall I say derisory. Thanks, thesaurus.

I read a lot, I write quite a bit, but for some reason I am a horrible speller. Like, really, really bad. It makes texting very difficult because of the whole OCD thing.

This guy? He’s an asshole.

I really want a dog. I have three kids, I’m starting a brand new job, my husband works nights and I’m trying to workout five days a week. A dog would be perfect, don’t you think?

Our family is renting a trailer and is going to spend three weeks this summer living in a van down by the river. Five people in a camper trailer travelling through the BC interior? I’m pretty sure this is the worst idea ever. It will probably be fabulous for blogging material though.

I really like the blog Frogs in my Formula. This chick totally cracks me up every time she posts. I hope her job gets really boring and she gets to post everyday because my job is really boring and I need more to read.

V8 is gross.

Today I am taking my daughter to get her learners license, and she wants me to let her drive home. I really, really, REALLY don’t want to do that. Not only do I want to live, but I haven’t had the chance to go and increase my insurance (read: lower my deductable) yet. I need to think of a way to get out of this. For the next two years. At least.

Go see Keely. All the cool kids are doing it.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Fat Chick vs. Food - Week Twelve

This is the twelfth week of Fat Chick vs. Food. I have been officially at this for three months, so I think it’s time to take stock of who is actually winning this contest.

In the left corner we have Fat Chick, wearing sweatpants, a ponytail and a t-shirt she pulled out of a case of beer. She’s looking leaner than we last saw her, and sitting in her corner are her friends Determination, Strength of Will and the Desire for Nicer Clothes.

In the right hand corner we have Food, wearing a potato chip bag and glazed donut bracelets. Food has taken a beating these last few rounds, but is still standing and should not be underestimated at this point in our competition. In Food’s corner we have his friends Indulgence, Stress and Insecurity.

We’re only a third of the way in and think we’re going to have to call it in Fat Chick’s far. Food has put forth an impressive effort, especially with a very strong starting line up that includes beer, wine, nachos, pizza and cheeseburgers. However, Fat Chick has shown a remarkable counter offensive that includes the gym, bootcamp, squash, vegetables and Trainer Lady.

So here we are, three months in. Food is tricky and has landed a few good blows, so we can’t count him out yet. Complacency, Self Doubt and Beer on the Deck are all ringers Food has just signed to contract and they may see a spot in the starting line up in the very near future. Fat Chick is going to have to keep vigilant and be ready to take Food out at the knees. No more fucking around, Fat Chick. You better be prepared to pop a cap in his ass, sista. True dat, yo!!!

Uhhh……sorry. I guess Fat Chick sometimes forgets she’s a chubby white girl living in Saskatchewan. All 'gangsta's' write in the third person, don't they?

I lost another 2.5 pounds this week, bringing the total to 20.5 pounds down. I have 39.5 pounds to go. Wow, 39 pounds sounds so much better than sixty.