Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Yeah, they're Weirdos - but they're MY Weirdos.

I only have one more week at my current job, and I’m starting to freak out a little. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s time to leave and I am excited about moving on to something better, but I have gone to the same place and been surrounded by the same people everyday for five years. Some of these people have become genuine friends that I know I will stay in touch with, but a lot of them I will potentially never see again. It’s making me a little sad, so I am going to take this time to bid adieu to some of the work people who didn’t quite make the transition into my real life, and will therefore be completely out of my world in one short week:

The ‘Good Morning’ Guy: Good Morning Guy comes to work everyday and says good morning to everybody. Literally. If four people are standing around talking in a group, he doesn’t just issue one general ‘good morning’, he says it four times in a row. “Good morning! Good morning! Good morning! Good morning!” He works in the very last back office, so he can usually hit just about everyone on his way by.

The Gratuitous Swearer: The Gratuitous Swearer manages to incorporate the words ‘fuck’, ‘shit’, ‘motherfucker’, ‘twat’ and various other profanities into every conversation, regardless if it’s work related or not. It’s kind of like working with George Carlin. It doesn’t matter if we’re in a meeting or just in the lunchroom, the Gratuitous Swearer lets it rip. I tend to have my own potty mouth (as I’m sure you’ve figured out if you have been reading this blog with any kind of regularity), but I’m a very ‘appropriate time and place’ kind of swearer. Swearing in front of clients or the powers-that-be seems in terribly bad taste to me, but it amuses me to no end when GS does it.

The Bawler: The Bawler cries about something at least once a week for various reasons. She has an extreme emotional response to being happy, sad, overwhelmed, angry, or confused. It wouldn’t be so bad if she wasn’t a senior manager, but she is. And, she bursts into tears all the time, even in meetings. Awkward.

Cutie Pie: The most adorable guy ever. Not only is he adorable, but he is a dream to work with. I never have to deal with any bullshit when I'm working on a project with him. I love this dude. He is a man of few words, but when he does talk he always says something great. Just being around him makes me happy. Who am I going to fantasize about in meetings now?

The Fishbowl: – Our technical staff sit in an all glass room and geek-out all day long. About three years ago I made the mistake of asking them something about a satellite dish, and now they tell me about every new techy sky-based computer thingy and are under the mistaken impression that I’m interested. I’ve never had the heart to tell them I don’t really give a shit. They are all single.

Monty Hall: If you need something, any random thing, Monty Hall has it at her desk. I don’t know if she is psychic or a pack-rat, but I haven’t been able to stump her in five years. When I’m a little bored I think of the most random out-there thing in the world and then I go ask Monty if she has it. She ALWAYS does.

TMI: Too Much Information – guess what she’s like? I know WAY more than I care to about her menstrual cycles, sexual history, finances and digestive system.

I’m really going to miss these folks in all their quirky glory. Speaking of quirky, head on over to Sprite's Keeper's place for the Spin Cycle! This week's topic, as it turns out....quirks! Finally - I fit right in.

17 comments:

CDB said...

Does the Bawler cry about the swearing, or the constant greetings?
And the techno-fishies are all single ? Now that doesn't make any sense..

Peggy said...

Damn...here's to hoping your new weirdos are weirder than your old weirdos!

Good Luck with the transition!

ChurchPunkMom said...

awe.. hope your new crop is even more entertaining.. but I pity them a little, that's a hard act to follow!

C.B. Jones said...

I had about 6 Gratuitous Swearers in my clique in high school. I figured if one of them died from getting struck my lighting while ranting in a storm under a tree, one of the other would step up and take his place.

HeatherPride said...

Great observations! I hope I'm not the office bawler. I work with a bunch of men so that's probably what they call me behind my back. But it's only happened twice, is that acceptable?????

Michele said...

I too am leaving for a new job soon. I haven't decided if I'm excited or nervous or sad or maybe all three. It's been tough.
Here's hoping that your new place has enough weirdos.

Keely said...

I'm pretty sure your new office will have the appropriate ratio of weirdos. Although they might be better dressed.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Seriously, FoN? Are you making me beg here? This is the very essence of quirks! Please Spin it for the Cycle! I loved it!

Casey said...

I think I have a lot in common with GS. I don't do it on purpose but I always throw in a swear word since subconsciously, I think it makes me seem cooler. I know it doesn't.

Sorry you're going to miss the old peeps. I get it though, they're familiar.

Ginny Marie said...

Everybody needs a Cutie Pie to fantasize about! Unfortunately, as a SAHM, I don't have one at the moment. The mailman just doesn't do it for me. I did see a Cutie Pie at Hardee's the other day....

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

It is kind of a bittersweet moment to leave the familiar weirdos behind and hope their replacements at the new job will fill the void... ;) Good luck with the transition! :)

Becca said...

Great description of your coworkers! I felt like I was reading a seinfeld episode :) awesome!!

Momma Trish said...

The Bawler would make folks mighty uncomfortable. So would TMI-gal. Oh dear! I hope I'm not her! Eeek!

On your last day, ask Monty Hall if she has your paystub. That oughta stump her.

I hope your new job is fabulous, and you have some good weirdos there too!

Frogs in my formula said...

Hilarious!

I know how you feel about leaving your freaky co-workers. It's hard when they're so familiar and they provide so much comic relief--or stress. In our office we have "the Head." We call him that b/c when you talk to him he bobs his head up and down vacantly like a bobblehead.

Don't worry--your new job will have a whole new crop of quirky people. It's virtually guaranteed.

Sherendipity said...

This post was featured on the Connoisseur du Jour Sunday Funnies

mrsbear said...

I love that you've categorize them by quirks. There are always plenty of weirdos at any given job, so don't lament...especially those of the TMI variety, there's ALWAYS one of those. Eek.

Laura Mazenc said...

Haha, oh Christie, this made me laugh... Way too perfect. Also made me miss the old co-workers more than ever. (Although I think one or two of those characters might be new since I left?) They're definitely a hard group to leave. Congratulations on the new job though! Hope the new staff is just as entertaining.