Monday, January 26, 2009

Random Tuesday Thought day - for KEELY!


I need a lesson on blogging manners - I keep participating in these standard weekly posting themes but always forget to tell you who is the mastermind, which is kind of the point, correct? This one is for Keely at Un-Mom. The weight loss posts are for Casey at Hasay. There. Sorry ladies! I will try to be more considerate in the future. Unfortunately these days I can't think of anything other than how fucking cold I am every minute of every day.

I’m going to go completely insane if it doesn’t warm up soon. I have to escape this weather – no human should have to live through this. Right now I’m totally willing to cash in my Canadian citizenship and go join Castro’s revolution. Democracy can go fuck itself if it means I get to feel the tip of my nose again in this lifetime.

My daughter died her hair orange. On purpose. Yeah, I know it’s a right of passage to massacre your hair at fifteen years old, but…...yikes. She looks like she just stepped out of a Dr. Seuss cartoon.

I’m sad I didn’t win that 44 million dollars that was up for grabs in the 6-49 this weekend. I had all kinds of plans for that money. I guess it’s not very responsible to have ‘win the lottery’ as your plan A, is it?

How come Paula Abdul isn’t shit-faced on American Idol this year? Watching that train wreck is the main reason I tune into that show.

I learned today that smart on its own gets you nowhere. Smart with a side order of evil? Now THAT gets you places.

I’m really cold. I know I’ve covered this already, but I just can’t let it go. All day every day I am freezing to death and I just can’t take it anymore. My entire body has been ice cold for two solid months and if I don’t get some heat in my person sometime soon pieces of me are going to start dropping off. My last power bill was $260. Yes, that was only for one month. This is inhuman. What kind of dumbass decided this piece of nowhere was a perfect place to stop and build a town? I don't know, but that guy was an asshole.

I think I would qualify for refugee status because if I stay here any longer I am going to die – from either frost bite or my own hand. Florida? Nevada? New Mexico? Anyone out there want me? I have a myriad of useless skills that qualify me to do all kinds of useless things. I’m sure there is some douche bag somewhere south that needs a secretary, right?? Please, someone out there rescue me from this godforsaken land. It's really, really, really starting to effect my usually sunny disposition.


Kelly said...

You can come hang out with us here in the south...Indiana. I know, I know. We're technically not The South, but we're southern to you, and I bet we've got at least 20 degrees on you guys, right? It's practically balmy compared to where you are!

No flowers yet though. Because flowers in January is just weird.

Keely said...

That's what the button is for - it links back to me when you forget ;)

Is your 'usually sunny disposition' (hehe) messing with your side order of evil or something? Because I'd think that you should be going places based on that formula.

Julie@Cool Mom Guide said...

Give her time, the crazy will come out. She's just scared of the new judge I think. Take a vacation to sunny SC, you can stay with me!!!

Michelle said...

I feel ya. We have it too... plus they say 15 more centimetres of snow tonight! (Which at least means it will warm up, right? Because it doesn't usually snow at -30...)
And what the hell kind of temperature IS -30 anyway???

Heather said...

Gotta love having teenagers...:)

Stacy's Random Thoughts said...

Orange hair? Love the description of her looking like she stepped out of a Dr. Seuss book! LOL!! I'm sure that'll be my future in about 9 or 10 years... ;) I think Julie's right - Paula Abdul is 'scared' of the new judge...once she gets comfy (and it's the Hollywood rounds, then the top 12), she'll probably slip back into her old habits... ;) Sorry you're so stinkin' cold! Happy Randomness! ;)

Shangrila said...

Oh, honey! I'd invite you to stay with me, but I live in MN and it's pretty effin' cold here, too! My baby (age 10) has wanted blue hair for years (stupid anime!) so I'm sure I'll have to deal with that in the future. I don't really have a problem with the idea of her with blue hair, but suspect that I may really, really dislike the reality of it. Hang in there-hair dye and winter have to wear out sometime, right?

Casey said...

Thanks for the shout-out but I really never noticed.

My power bill is that much every month, year round. It's fucking HOT here and we need to keep it cool as to not bake our children.

Come to FL. Seriously, come on down The Price Is Right style. I hate being cold so I completely sympathize.

Cameron said...

Give it time....Paula will come out of her shell. I think she's being good for the new girl. A few more episodes and she'll go nutty.

Ginny Marie said...

I was cold before I read your I'm really freakin' cold!