Monday, July 13, 2009

Random Tuesday - Jon, Kate and Holden Caulfield walk into a bar....


I know I really need to let the Jon and Kate thing go, but it just pisses me off more and more everyday. She rationalizes keeping the cameras rolling by saying, “Parents work. This is my career and I work for my kids”. Yeah, well most parents work by going to an office, or a restaurant or a car dealership or a factory. The butcher, the baker or the candlestick maker aren't whoring their little ankle biters out for a 'job', now are they? And then there is Jon who goes traipsing around France before the ink is dry on the divorce papers (and who am I kidding, most likely WAY before that) with a 22 year-old girl. That woman was in grade six when his first set of kids were born for crying out loud. What is wrong with these people? Could you imagine being those children and having to go to school everyday? When I was nine my mother dressed me in culottes one lousy day and I was teased for months. I feel so sorry for what those kids have to deal with now just because their parents are morons.

We sealed the deal on the cabin for trade yesterday! We went out on the weekend and had a look-see and it’s fabulous (for those catching up we found an on-line ad offering free rental on a lake front cabin in exchange for yard work). There is a lot of work that needs to get done, but I just happen to have in my possession an unemployed husband and teenager who needs to find a way to pay me back for the cell phone she lost with 26 months remaining on the contract. Hubby and the two oldest are going to head out next week and get most of the trees/bushes cut down and loaded up, and then myself and the little one are going to join them the following week for TWO WHOLE WEEKS at the lake. Ahhhh, the lake. I love the lake. The minute I step out of the car and am surrounded by trees and water I immediately just chill the fuck out.

I’m going to read Catcher and the Rye while I’m on vacation this summer. I’ve always wanted to read it, but have never gotten around to it for some reason. Then I’m going to get a dog and name it Holden Caulfield so everyone will think I’m an intellectual and take me seriously as a writer. Ha! I know, huh? Holla!

The follow are words and phrases I wish I could completely remove from my lexicon without consequence:
- Terms of Reference
- Governance Committee and Board of Directors
- Quarterly report
- Please pass the potato chips
- Where is your cell phone, J?
- Mom, it turns out we’re not going to make it to Winnipeg for a holiday this summer after all….

I think my husband is going to be the best teacher in the whole world. The thought he puts into not only what to teach the kids, but how to teach them is amazing. If all the world’s educators approached their jobs in this way, the planet would be filled with much different people.

I still need a pedicure. I'm prety sure I could sharpen knives on my feet at this point. I should really address this situation before vacation because I’m not planning on wearing shoes for two whole weeks. Hmmm…..maybe I should get one AFTER I’m back from the lake.

That is it for me, now go see Keely – she is queen of all things insightful and visionary. Is that better?


Jenni said...

glad to hear the vaction is official.

Not to ruin it or anything, but the Catcher in the Rye is a real downer. I mean, I know you know that, but I'm just going to say it. I'm also going to tell you that I hate that book, even though I know I'm supposed to love it.

Jenni said...

also, i'm watching that show, 16 and pregnant, right now. have you seen it?! It is alarming.

robin said...

Ooooh! You are gonna LOVE the Catcher in the Rye! Great book. (And didn't some celeb just name their kid Holden? Can't remember who.)
PS- Do you have the Pedi-Egg up in Canada? Works wonders on the old feets.

Tricia McWhorter said...

Well after you read "Catcher" you might want to read "At Home in the World" by Joyce Maynard. I took a memoir writing class from her last year and she lived with JD Salinger for about a year when she was around 19. What an eye opening book. Kinda casts old JD in a whole different light.

And on the whole Jon and Kate deal, I saw a teaser on some trashy magazine that said something like, "Cara and Mady—the new Olsen twins? Kate's new plan" You know, that would not surprise me at all.

Enjoy your vacation.

Ashlee said...

Yay for cabincations!! I made that up. Look at me, making up words like a big girl...or a dork. Either way, have a blast!!! I'm excited for ya!!

Lulu said...

I love reading you. I'm going to sit down here and read all the way through your posts again.

Pass the chips, will ya?


Frogs in my formula said...

I feel the same way about Jon and Kate. He's already holding hands with a new chick? Those kids need a break from the TV and media. It's just plain sad.

Congrats on the cabin. Getting away to a lake and woods is so relaxing. Catcher and the Rye is one of my all time favorite books. You can read it from a hammock at the jealous...

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

WooHoo! You got the cabin! That vacation sounds so much more relaxing than the sweltering heat of Louisiana...*sigh!* Can I have a do-over? :) Have FUN and take lots of pictures! :)

Jaime said...

UGH! jon and kate and michael jackson just need to get out of the news! like...NOW

Keely said...

Culottes?? Hahhahhahhahah! I'm never taking you seriously again.

I've never read Catcher in the Rye either. Maybe we should read it, form a book group, and 'discuss'.

Shortly after that we could commit ritual suicide, whaddya think?

Casey said...

You fucking rocked that vacation trade and I'm jealous. I'll be right up, I can pull weeds like nobody's business. That wasn't a sexual reference.

I had to stop watching the Jon & Kate shit since it was infuriating. You should too. Grr. Let's go get pedis and chill the f out.


Ms. Salti said...

I'm so jealous about the lake! I hope you guys have a blast!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Catcher in the Rye is great. Happy reading. Okay well it's not happy reading but it's good. Thought provoking kind of good. Really.