Monday, June 15, 2009

Fat Chick vs. Food - Week Twenty One

Huh? What’s that? All of you just never mind.

This past (ahem) week was a little hit and miss. We have so much to catch up on people! I spend a lot of my time summarizing conversations into pretty spreadsheets, reports and presentations, so I’m going to rock this bad boy bullet point style -

- The Hubby graduated university and then went and got him self a grown-up job. He will be teaching a grade 2/3 split class starting in the fall, and I’m going to giggle every time I hear someone call him ‘Mr. FoN’.

- What does that have to do with Fat Chick, you ask? Well……she celebrated. A little. Okay, a lot. For about two weeks straight.

- Interesting fact – I didn’t gain any weight whatsoever.

- Another interesting fact – the week prior to my two week impression of Anna Nicole before she became all coked-out and hooked on Trimspa and then died? I was religious with my eating and exercising. I didn’t lose an ounce that week.

Ummmm, excuse me, but I thought this whole thing was supposed to be scientific? Isn’t the magic formula burn more calories than you eat and then you lose weight? That’s what Oprah told me. That’s what Trainer Lady told me. That’s what Google has said over and over again. What the fuck with the plateau? Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful I’m not gaining weight because I SO should have, but why does all of that not seem to matter anymore? This would all be fine and good if I was struggling with the last five or ten, but I still have more than 30 pounds to drop.

I have agreed to run in a marathon relay team this September, which is pretty hilarious because I don’t run. Ever. This one time a crazy drunk chick in a bar thought I had wronged her in some way and gave me the ‘Wanna go?’ line, and I started laughing so hard she got super pissed off and came after me with her giant teased hair and Old Stock beer bottle a blazin’. As far as I can remember, that was the last time I ran anywhere, and that was about twelve years ago. Interesting side note to that story – I ran as close as I could get to the bouncer and Keely because I had a little confidence in the bouncer, but I knew for sure Super Keely would TOTALLY kick her ass. I think that is a blog for another time though…….

As I was saying, I am going to run in this relay marathon. It’s just a tad abstract because our ‘team’ has been planning this for a few weeks now, but the only action we’ve seen is in written form on a Facebook events page. I don’t hold out too much hope it will happen, but the threat of it is so far enough to keep me somewhat motivated.

My major motivation lately? SUMMER.

Waterskiing season is upon us. I am going to try and haul my fat ass out of the water this year people. Picturing me cutting through those waves is my workout fantasy, and I’m getting a little scared. I have about two weeks left to train before I try to get up on those goddamn skis, and I’m having some doubts. I’ll keep you posted.

Speaking of posted – yeah, okay……so I took a little time off. More on that tomorrow. Or maybe Wednesday. This week for SURE.


steenky bee said...

Oh honey, in my world, chick vs. food....the food always win. Always.

Jenni said...

woo-hoo, FoN is back!

I'm dying for the story w/Keely v. beer bottle.

Keely said...

So, Week 21 was - all of June?

I never got my hands on that chick, either, she was too fast as well. I think I managed to grab a handful of big hair.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I don't run either. I would suck at a marathon relay :-) It would be more of a waddle for me.

VERY funny post!

Joanna Jenkins said...

PS CONGRATS TO HUBBY on graduation and the new job! Yeah!

Casey said...

I have to hear this SuperKeely story, please share.

And who is this? Where ya been?

Casey said...

And congrats on your man and his new job as Mr FoN!

Unknown said...

Well, not a horrible week if you've been able to keep at it and stay on the same level right? And a new job in the house is awesome. And you told us a good story about an almost bar fight (which sounds very interesting...) I'm going to want more details.

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

You are back!!! That's so lovely. And who cares if you broke your perfect diet? You didn't gain, right? Get right back on the wagon, and you're golden.

Also, very impressive that you are training for a race!