Monday, May 18, 2009

Fat Chick vs. Food - Week Twenty

Dear Body:

While Fat Chick's enthusiasm is often a pleasant addition, she is very easily distracted. The next twenty weeks should be pretty telling when determining the overall success of project ‘Quit Being So Fat, Yo’.

Working out: B-
FC's effort this term has been hit and miss. While she is sometimes extremely motivated, she is easily sidetracked by various occasions such as going away parties and long weekends. It would work in her favor to develop a plan well in advance of the week and make more of an effort to stick with it. She has, however, made some marvelous improvements to her strength, balance, and endurance levels. I am excited to learn that she has agreed to run as part of a relay team in the Queen City Marathon this September. With a continued focus on training, I am hopeful she won’t make a total ass of herself or break something. I’m not laying bets though.

Balanced Diet: C-
FC is able to stick to her diet regime during the week, but on the weekends she eats like she was just kicked off of Survivor. Finding a balance and observing a healthy diet throughout the week would work towards the ultimate goal of moving from Fat Chick to Hot Chick. Laying off the booze would also be advisable. Amy Whinehouse is plenty skinny, if you get what I'm sayin'.

Overall progress to date: C+
Week twenty and Fat Chick is down some noticeable pounds. A reasonable weight loss by this point would be between 40 and 45 pounds, and FC is currently sitting at a weight loss of 27 pounds. Acceptable, but not exactly awe inspiring. Given the current obstacles in her way (work, kids, finances, lazy) she is meeting expectations. With some increased dedication and additional focus, Fat Chick shows a lot of potential. Keep up the good work FC!


Dear Conscience:

Yeah, I know. I’m trying, but it’s not that easy to change years of bad habits and neurosis. I’m working on it, and it’s always top of my mind, and every time I cheat I feel really guilty about it which is all thanks to you. I don’t want to cheat, but…well, it’s finally summer and that comes with some stuff like eating nachos and drinking beer. Okay, so I did that during the winter too, but it’s so much more satisfying during the summer. And, I still really miss my co-workers and they were getting together this weekend, and what’s a girl to do? I know, I know. I’m going to stop. Honest. Quit looking at me that way. I mean it. Fuck off.

I did lose three pounds this week. I have 33 to go.

21 comments:

Wendy said...

LOL. This is the first post of yours I've ever read. That note to your conscience is hilarious!

Captain Dumbass said...

Three pounds! Fuck you, conscience!

Michele said...

3 more pounds! WooHoo! Hot Chick is right around the corner.

Casey said...

Three pounds is great, tell your conscience to shut the fuck up. And ahahhahaa to eating like you were just kicked out of survivor.

Jenni said...

Three pounds is awesome. And, I think 27 pounds is pretty goddamn good. Weight loss is a long, hard road but you are 27 pounds lighter today than you were five months ago. That's saying something.

Jenni said...

oh, and kids. what a pitfall they are. they make you fat, they keep you fat. good thing they are so damn cute.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Hey three pounds ain't no laughing matter there! Good for you!

Peggy said...

OMG OMG OMG OMG! You posted! And I missed it! wtf? Ok, now I'm going back to actually read.

sorry, sometimes I get worked up!

Peggy said...

I would kill to lose three pounds in a week! So good job!

ps - I'm so ripping off your line about eating like you just got kicked off Survivor. I always wondered if they gave them food right after they walked out of the shot and what kind of food they got. I would go for a vodka cranberry with a splash of OJ and a diet coke from McDonalds (supersized) and a reuben just in case you were wondering...

CDB said...

Three pounds.. you must be hanging out with keely! Yeah, tell your conscience to f**k off. Oh wait, you did that.

Frogs in my formula said...

Hey, you're down five pounds from last time. That's progress! And I bet Amy Whinehouse couldn't run a marathon. She'd probably implode.

Heather said...

I hope to be saying that next week too!!! 3 pounds is awesome!!!

ArtSnark said...

sounds like you've got it all figured out - and tell that conscience to mind it's own business ;D

Keely said...

I don't know, I'd give you a C, not a C minus, for sticking with it during the week. That's 5 days out of 7. Well, most weeks.

So...in an effort to be like Amy Winehouse, you're going to become a crack whore? I'm not sure that's productive.

Nice work on 3 lbs!!

Shangrila said...

Dear Sunshine Muffin,
You lost 3 pounds this last week AND have lost 27 pounds total?! Bitch-slap your conscience, because YOU ROCK!

The Dental Maven said...

You GO GIRL!!! Wish I could proclaim the same, but I'm at one of those damn plateau's and the scale ain't budging. Hate that!

Shangrila said...

Hey Tootsie, I've given you da Lemonade Award-stop by and pick it up!

otin said...

I lost 25 and still have 40 to go lol!

LiLu said...

3 pounds in one week is awesome, darling. Don't get down on yourself! You're really not supposed to lose much more than 2 a week or the weight is much less likely to stay off.

I myself am struggling with a lifelong love of cheeseburgers and all things fried, and trying to make some BIG changes. And it's so, so hard... but with our consciences nagging the hell out of us, we can do it. :-)

Joanna Jenkins said...

27 pounds is awesome! And this is a very funny post!

I just stopped by from Lulu's Sandbar to say hello. nice to meet you. I'll be back again soon!

ric said...

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