Hey there, Tuesday bloggers! I haven’t played in a while so I thought I would stop back in for a RTT. However, it appears that our hostess has slept in. Uh...Keely? I'm standing here all alone with that fugly button! Bueller? BUELLER?
Last week I went for lunch with some of my old co-workers. It was great. There is a comfortable familiarity that comes with working with the same people day in and day out for five years, and I still miss it. As we quickly fell back into comfortable rhythms I found myself thinking, “Wow, I really miss these guys. Why did I ever leave my job again?’ After we were done the conciliatory ‘how are the spouse/kids’ type conversations, it naturally turned to work and I started getting caught up on what I’ve been missing. By the end of the lunch I walked away with a firm, “Oh yeah. THAT’S why I left my job. It TOTALLY BLOWS there.” A nice little side reminder with my buffet.
Does anyone else watch A&E? What is with all the new shows based around crazy people? And I don’t say that lightly; I have had a toe over the mental illness line most of my adult life, so that buys me the right to use the word crazy. Very much how I get to use the word fat - I’ve earned my right into that club too. Anyway…
Where was I?
Oh yeah, A&E crazy people programming. I think they built their new broadcast schedule around trying to make the rest of us feel better. And it’s working! I watch Hoarders and suddenly my housekeeping skills improve dramatically. Intervention? Pfft. I don’t mind if I do have that third glass of wine, now that you mention it! Hey, it’s not like I’m huffing on the cool whip can or anything. After watching Obsessed it’s suddenly perfectly fine that my son hasn’t had a bath in four days. Germs aren’t bad for you! Get a grip already!
Thanks, A&E. You have done a wonderful job putting my shortcomings in perspective. I’m fucking perfect.
My daughter's ipod was broken. After 2 days of trying everything she could think of to make it work again she got so frustrated she started to cry, and magically - it started working again. No kidding, just like that. I immediately sent her out to the driveway to cry on her father’s truck that has been sitting there broken for two months. I’ll let you know if that works. If it does, look for ‘J’s Magical Revival Tent’ coming to a city near you.
Keely and Xander came over for dinner this weekend. Upon hearing the news that the dreamy Xander was on his way over (they are affianced, by the way), my three year-old insisted on primping. No kidding. She looked at her dirty little toes that had been running outside with no shoes on all day and announced that she needed a bath immediately because, “Xander just can’t see me like this.” I’m not sure if that’s super funny or the most horrifying thing I’ve ever heard. I guess he is pretty cute.
That’s it for me. I can’t find any more mental post-its or scribbles written on the back of envelopes hanging around anywhere. Go see Keely - she has much more faithful RTTers that won’t let you down. If she ever shows up, that is. Slacker.
13 comments:
Must not drink and schedule posts.
"Hoarders"? Awesome. I think I need to watch more TV.
Oh, I am totally hooked on the A&E Crazy Train Trifecta. My fave Intervention has to be the girl who huffed computer duster spray... "I'm walking on suuuuuunshine!" Gawd, that was priceless!
If I cry, does that mean my broken electronics would work? Cause that would really be helpful.
Happy RTT.
Maybe you could bottle her little tears and sell them to people.
My four year old told me the other day that the boy sacking our groceries was cute... then she asked me to tell him her name. Ugh. So not ready for a boy crazy little girl.
My Sister is a hoarder...Or as i like to call her, big mutated pack rat from hell. I want to get her on the show, but I'm scared that she may assault the camera people.
Tried to have an intervention about it, but she started crying before anybody was able to make any kind of good point as to why she doesn't need three year old magazines and snuff containers.
I've been felling pretty low lately. I'll have to turn on A&E. Thanks for the tip.
Maybe you should start bottling up some of your daughters tears and sell the miracle cure on eBay?
I was wondering where she went too...but she's popped up here to answer that question. (And quite frankly I must ask - Why NOT drink and schedule posts? Is that not how it's done??)
I'll sign up for that magic tent thingy, just let me know.
Reality tv kind of sucks. I moved all the freaking way back to America just to get stuck with sucky reality tv. At least the Sky TV London people had sexy sucky reality tv accents.
Too funny about your little one wanting to primp. It always starts so young! It's always nice to be reminded of why you no longer work at your sucky job, isn't it?!
Wow, primping for X is hilarious, as is crying to fix electronics. Maybe the thing was corroded and the salt from her tears cleaned it up or something? I dunno, it's a stretch.
Yay!!! I'm all clappy - if I have to finally get off the couch - at least it's for good stuff like this!
And after today's news? Maybe the Duggars will move their show to A&E - I think they're hoarding kids.
I love your stories. You are inspiration for real people everywhere. You just make me laugh. Thanks for that.
Send that J’s Magical Revival Tent our way too.. we'd definitely need it for our "small incident" a couple of days ago. oh and btw stop by and see the true story behind that!
Happy Thursday!
That is sooo cute that your girl had to primp!
Those A&E shows improve my self esteem dramatically every time I hear about them!
Did you know that if an iPod stops working you can push down several buttons at once and it will reset it? They are specific buttons that I don't know offhand, but my daughter knows and I can ask her if you'd like to know for next time. A couple times my iPod just wouldn't work and I pressed those buttons and it fixed it like magic. If you'd like me to ask her, leave a comment on my blog and I'll comment back here when I find out.
Have a great Labor Day!
Raven
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