Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Random Tuesday - I'm BACK baby


I honestly don’t know what has come over me with the Fucktard Sister trilogy. I just can’t seem to stop writing it. Aside from a few minor creative liberties here and there, it's a true story, but I had no idea it would take on a life of it's own. Odd, considering I really haven’t thought about that incident much in the subsequent years. Whatever, I’m really enjoying writing it for some reason and it’s my blog, so there. I guess fucking with the fucktards never gets old. I'm wrapping it up this week though, for sure. Honest.

My daughter has to go to summer school because she failed grade ten Science. That kind of blows, especially considering I either have to (a) go on holidays without her and leave her with her grandparents for a week or (b) postpone my vacation. Neither scenario is really appealing to me. Dumbass. You know, I’d feel better about it if she actually was a dumbass, because then she couldn’t help flunking. But she’s not a dumbass, she just only attends the classes she likes (and gets 80’s in those). As it turns out if you don’t attend class and never hand in assignments, you fail. Funny that.

Shut up Keely. I wasn’t hanging out at A&W alone you know.

I have to get my son’s teacher a kick-ass present for the end of the year, but I can’t think of a good one that doesn’t cost a fortune. My boy is a complicated soul, and this woman gets him. She is awesome and I love her to bits. Suggestions are welcome.

I wonder what’s for dinner? I think I’m going to hide all the mushroom soup cans the Hubby keeps buying.

We had an outdoor cinema night on the weekend and it was awesome! The Hubby found an old LCD projector at a garage sale, hooked it up to the stereo and DVD player, hung a white sheet off the deck as a screen and voila! We grabbed lots of blankets, pillows, snacks and drinks and had a little movie night on the lawn in the backyard. It was totally cool and we’re going to make it a regular thing. As long as I get to pick the next movie. The boy and the Hubby came back from the video store with Mall Cop for crying out loud.

I have no concerts planned for this summer. Last year I saw Lenny Kravitz, Stone Temple Pilots, the Tragically Hip, Rush (I am Canadian, eh), Elton John and Neil Young. This year, nada. AC/DC is coming here in August, but I hate them. Where the hell are all the other good bands this year? Maybe I’ll just rent a DVD concert and watch it in my backyard. Do you think the Hubby will let me sit on his shoulders and flash my boobs at the neighbours?

I'm very upset Jon and Kate are getting divorced. I'm very VERY upset that I give a shit that Jon and Kate are getting divorced. Hopefully Brangelina can hang in there.

Alright, that’s enough. It’s my first Tuesday back in a while; I don’t want to over do it. Today’s post was brought to you by the Un Mom. Thanks for the purge, Keely. And I don’t even have to go brush my teeth.


robin said...

Welcome back!
Didn't know you were such a music fan! Cool! (And does any Canadian NOT like the Tragically Hip?)

Ashlee said...

The concert dvd in the backyard thing depends on how old your neighbors are. Don't want to be responsible for heart attacks, right? Great RT!!!

Anonymous said...

I work with kids. This is the first thing I say because I think my experience with kids is what makes both my following comments valid.

I say you go on vacation without her. WAIT! Don't think me heartless just yet!! The reason is because this will teach her the value of summer, the fun she'll be missing without her family due to summer school, and the importance of not missing class. It's a little ugly and mean, but it'll work. At least if she'll get the message that is. You knew your kid best.

Present idea: GIFT CARDS!!! Or plaques. But gift cards are better. I know it seems a little impersonal but this will allow your teacher to spoil herself with your money any way she likes. =0) It's hard to shop for someone you don't really know personally. Teachers aren't the same in private as we are with the kids and their families. (No that doesnt mean we're hiding crazies) Spa/massage gift cards can range from 60 to over a hundred dollars. A nice bottle of wine. A gift card to a restaurant with enough in it for two....

I hope this helps!
Happy RTT!
I played too!

Captain Dumbass said...

Get her a Chapter's gift card. I asked a teacher about this once and that's what she recommended.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I'm loving the Fucktard trilogy (plus) It's pretty cool :)

I'll be popping back to hear about the gift ideas. I could use one for my sons teacher having the patience of a saint. He tends to correct her when she's wrong lol.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Dang it. Cinema night. I wanted to say that is so cool! Can I come over??

Casey said...

I'm enjoying the Fuctard Sisters stories so keep em coming. Your outdoor movies sound great but we'd die from heat exposure if we tried that shit here. We're going to see U2 in October but it's at a football stadium and I'm pretty sure my boobs will stay in my shirt. Oh wait, this is AFTER my reverse boob job, I should break those bitches out and show them off. It's not fair that my old boobs have flashed plenty of people and my new boobs haven't. I think the decision was just made.

Jenni said...

i'm like dying for the end of your fucktard sisters story. it's been a fun read.

movie night sounds so fun! am jealous.

I'm also pretty crushed by the JK8 divorce. I just feel for them, especially when she said something like, "this is not the life I imagined for my kids," about her jon getting the big D. it is sad.

Michelle said...

As a teacher, may I suggest a Starbucks gift card? I LOVE getting those with a nice card. A bookstore gift card is also a great one.

Suzi said...

Don't forget to light a lighter and wave it around while you are flashing the neighbors.

Get the teacher something to pamper herself with....gift cert. for pedicure?

C.B. Jones said...

You could have sold the fucktard story as a book and made some serious change from it.

If you end up doing that, I want 30% of the profits because I gave you the idea.

Keely said...

Sure, I was at A&W too, but I never ended up in summer school either :P

And Robin - THIS Canadian doesn't like the Tragically Hip. I mean, I don't DISLIKE them, just...meh.

I always feel like I should apologize for that.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Yeah, that J/K thing is messing me up too. Won't someone PLEASE think of the children?!
When I was a kid, anytime I saw my mom pull a mushroom soup can out of the pantry, I ran. I walk past the soup shelves at the market and shiver.

Michele said...

Next time you have outdoor movie night can I come over? I'll bring the drinks and we'll veto bad movie choices.

Jennifer said...

The outside movie sounds awesome! I'm very jealous. Thanks for sharing!

Frogs in my formula said...

First, Stone Temple Pilots are awesome. Second, I am in love with the word Fucktard. I now use it every chance I get (except when I'm with the kid). Third, I wish I had a suggestion for a present but I suck at buying presents. Truly. And fourth, for dinner I recommend cereal.

blueviolet said...

I'm so jealous that you saw STP in concert! And what's with your hubby stockpiling the cream of mushroom soup?