Monday, April 13, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts - I'm a mean white Obama lovin' fool

randomtuesday

It’s Tuesday Randomness over at Keely’s place. You know the drill.

I’m feeling a little bad for being so hard on Trainer Dude yesterday. The power of the blog is quite something because based on your comments I could easily form a little army of pissed-off mommy bloggers to go and kick his ass. You guys are awesome, and I’m pretty sure if I was able to unleash you into the world you’d have this whole Iraq/Afghanistan war business dealt with in a couple of hours. I think I’m going to email Barack and tell him what time it is.

As for Trainer Dude, I may have misled you. It’s not like he’s a total muscle head shit-for-brains or anything, he just gives off an ‘I don’t like fat chicks’ vibe. But, let’s be honest – don’t most guys to a certain degree? I don’t mean regular guys like our husbands or the fearless Captain, but I think the beer drinking, macho, pub-crawl loving meathead guys have a genetic predisposition to the anti-Fat Chick point of view. It's not even really his fault, if you think of it that way. There is also a reasonable chance it’s all in my head anyway.

Did you know that Obama just held the first ever White House Passover Seder? I think that is the greatest thing ever. Especially since Christianity reigns supreme in pretty much everything, observing a holiday from another religion is awesome. Inclusion rules.

I need advice on how to change the colour of my legs. They are currently about two shades lighter than snow. They don’t tan naturally, tanning beds totally freak me out and every spray on/rub in tan stuff I’ve tried makes me look like a carrot. I know I should just embrace my whiteness, but it’s so bad people audibly gasp when they see how truly white the gams really are. I just want to stop making children cry. Suggestions are welcome.

I haven’t actually had the pleasure of seeing Master’s Degree since last week’s RTT, so I don’t have any updates on the crazy chick front. It’s too bad, really. I had a lot of fabulous suggestions I was dying to try out on her. I’ll keep you posted.

I’m so hungry. I really miss my friend’s chips and dip some nights. My friend’s carrots and celery are boring. It’s sort of like trading in cocaine for earl grey tea.

I think that’s it. All cleared out now.

28 comments:

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

"It’s sort of like trading in cocaine for earl grey tea."
ha ha! I can't stop laughing (but I get it too...)

I'm sorry, screw whoever said the fat chicks thing. We are who we are big small purple or white. Deal with it.

Snow white legs huh? Yeah, I feel that pain.

Ginny Marie said...

I totally agree. Guys do give off that "no fat chicks" vibe. But to be fair, I gave off the "no fat dudes" vibe when I was young.

GroovyGirl said...

try Mary Kay self tanning lotion...I really like it. Maybe try it on the upper thigh to test the color before you put it on the scene part of the legs. Everytime I open your blog, the swirls and flowers make me smile...very groovy!

I am Harriet said...

Whatever you do, don't go orange!

Yeah, that Obama thing was cool.

Guys with the 'no fat chick' thing going on usually have nothing between their ears anyway.

CDB said...

I think I speak for all of us when I say, please include a picture of said leggy-carrots, please? That is very creative, carrots.

C.B. Jones said...

three coats of paint should work.

Shout out to all they plus sized ladies. Some of us still love y'all!

LiLu said...

Mmmmm... I had chips and homemade bean dip last night. SO GOOD. But I'm paying for it now... ;-)

Jenni said...

you can get these lotions, i think olay makes one, maybe neutrogena, that gradually tint your legs. it is not like self tanner - it is more subtle. i think the olay one is called glow.

Casey said...

I hadn't heard about the seder but that's pretty cool of him. I'm sure he got a ration of shit from the hard core Christians.

You're right about the pissed off mommy bloggers. Say anything that hits a nerve and we will rally in your defense. I got your back, yo.

GreenJello said...

Whatever you do, don't piss off Mommy Bloggers.

:)

Kelly said...

i'm just as white as you. i feel your pain!

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

I'm as white as an egg - I did find a good spray last summer though - it really worked - the can is empty and long gone now though -

Captain Dumbass said...

I saw a pic of Obama throwing a snowball the other day, he looks cool all the time.

No fat chick trainer dude has a small penis. Just sayin. I prefer a woman who actually looks like a woman and not a 14 year old boy.

blueviolet@A Nut in a Nutshell said...

If you find out how to tan appropriately, please let me know. I can't do it without getting drip marks on my legs or fingerprints.

Keely said...

How bout nylons?

Or you could embrace the current "leggings" trend. I don't know, I'm in the same boat as you well know.

Peggy said...

Jergens for the legs...and I'm SO bummed that you haven't been able to hit up master's degree!

Lulu said...

I agree with Captain Dumbass - trainer dude is trying to compensate for his ummmm.... length challenge.

it's amazing how your money (at the trainer cllub) spends just as well as a stick lady's money, isn't it?

Word verification - horpo. Horpo his butt.....

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

No brain, no headache - in reference to the Trainer Dude... ;)

My legs are blazingly white, too - I've had good luck with the Neutrogena spray on tan - it didn't turn out orange at all, and had no streaks. It's an ultra fine mist that seems to do a nice job... ;)

"It’s sort of like trading in cocaine for earl grey tea." That is a comment I'm going to be thinking about every time I eat carrots and celery... LOL!! ;)

Happy RTT! :)

Kim said...

I have no suggestions for the legs but I do think you are right about a lot guys and their anti- anything but model-type women. It's so annoying considering most of them are no prizes either. Your writing makes me laugh out loud. Love it!

mrsbear said...

It would seem that Mommy bloggers have a whole lot of pent up anger to work through. I'm good with that.

Sorry about the pasty whiteness, I hear leg warmers are making a comeback. I could be wrong though, me and fashion just don't mix.

casual cutie said...

yupz, that Obama think was cool. i agree with him.

Frogs in my formula said...

Ok, we'll beat up trainer dude another day. Sigh. I got out my muscle shirts and everything!

As for your legs, I am PASTY white and I swear by Neutrogena foaming self tanner. You can slap it on in the morning and be out the door with kind of tan legs. Just don't use it on a rainy day b/c it is not waterproof, like they say. You'll look like someone spilled coffee down your legs. Trust.

The Dental Maven said...

I agree with the Captain. It's a ratio thing in their heads.

Cameron said...

Let's see, color of you legs....

Goodfather once had a post about pudding pants....what if you put on pudding pants and fill them with chocolate pudding. Maybe some of the chocolate color would absorb??? Just a thought.

Happy RTT!

kyooty said...

LOL!!! I found your chips and dip and made them a nice home in my junk trunk. They will be well taken care of for atleast 6 moreweeks

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

I am whiter than snow as well - I give up trying - nothing works

Jaime said...

my legs are pasty white too... i think we just need to get outside and spend some time in the sun.

HeatherPride said...

Hey, maybe now that Twilight is so popular, white will be the new tan? Rock that undead whiteness!