Sunday, March 8, 2009

Fat Chick vs. Food - Week 10

Nothing comes between me and my Calvins……except possibly my huge ass.

I have brought out the jeans. You know which ones I’m talking about. THE jeans. The skinny jeans. The jeans that you keep in vain hope of one day being able to suck it in, grab the nearest coat hanger, lie flat on your back and wriggle on until you almost pass out. The jeans you keep in the ‘I have a dream’ section of your closet.

My skinny jeans actually are Calvins and I love them. I love them and I haven’t been able to squeeze my fat ass into them in more than three years. I didn’t retrieve them to torture myself; I actually want to look at them. I can’t get them on yet, but I’m close enough that looking at the Calvins gives me hope instead of making me want to give it up already and just start rocking the moo-moos.

As for the plan I’m working on to get back into those Calvins, on Tuesday I spent an hour and a half with Trainer Lady. I wish I could win the lottery and afford to see her a few times a week because the shit she dreams up for me to do is ingenious. She has the unique ability to keep pushing me really hard without making me want to bash her over the head with a hand weight. I think Trainer Lady should start a cult because if she can make me work that hard and (almost) enjoy it, she’s the fucking pied-piper.

I was pretty good with the food this week, but I fell victim to the siren song of popcorn twice this weekend. I have a MAJOR popcorn addiction. Let me put it this way - if I had to choose between never eating popcorn again and having to give up one of my children, I would finally be getting that guest room I have always wanted. That shit is GOOD. Aside from those two minor indiscretions, I ate pretty well this week.

You know what is cool though? All of my work pants are falling off. I no longer have to actually undo them to get them on and off. While this is pretty cool from a weight loss perspective, walking around with the poopy-drawers is not a great look. In about five more pounds I’m going shopping!

I’m beginning my tenth week, and by this point I was really hoping to have lost twenty pounds. I didn’t make that goal, but I did lose another 2.5 pounds this week and 15 pounds total. I have 45 to go.

18 comments:

Keely said...

Guest bedroom! Sweet!

Nice work, lady! I'm so proud of you :) And YAY, shopping!

Peggy said...

Good Job FoN...I would love to have "poopy pants". Got a Gap/Banana Republic/Old Navy 30% off email this a.m. passing it on to you for your shopping spree! Have fun!

kirsty815 said...

LMAO I totally remeber the days of laying on the bed with a coat hanger. You're too funny woman! Congrats on the 15lbs!

Casey said...

Holy shit, you've lost 15 lbs already? That's amazing? And people don't really have wire hangers anymore, do they? I hate wire hangers, I threw all of mine away and switched to plastic years ago. Did I get side tracked?

Clothes falling off is the best feeling, I've been there and I want to be there again. In the words of Tina Fey "I want to go to there." Great job, you rock!

Casey said...

I meant to say "that's amazing!" not ask you if it was with the question mark. Duh. It is. Period.

mrsbear said...

Although I have no doubt you would rock a muu-muu, I think it's awesome that the Calvins are coming out. 15 lbs is spectacular. Keep up the good work. And I really don't think a popcorn addiction is that bad as long as you keep the 5 lbs of butter off of it. At least you're not addicted to chocolate doughnuts. ;)

Robin said...

Nice work!
You know, if we could only all have trainers. I'd be a total skinny bitch too if someone was on my ass 24/7 about working out. Oh, and a personal chef would be lovely too.

beth said...

Bringing out the skinny jeans?! Very impressive. Good job.

Jenni said...

15 lbs?! that's so awesome. you are my new idol.

Michele said...

Wow! You're doing great! I have a pair of those jeans that are screaming at me to lose enough weight to release them from bondage in the back of the closet.

ChurchPunkMom said...

you kick ass, lady!!

I'm just getting started on Operation Hot Chick. I very reluctantly put my skinny jeans in my dresser drawer a couple of weeks ago.. It's only been about a year since I was able to wear them.. but it's been a year too long. I've got about 30lb to lose and am hoping to start with a bang - 5lb this week! (I know.. dreaming, right?)

Here's to losing weight sans eating disorders! :P

C.B. Jones said...

Sounds like your love for popcorn has no bounds, much like my love for corn chips.If I had kids, I'd probably find a way to sell them if it meant I could get access to a bottomless bag of Frito-Lays.

Not sure if my future wife would understand my reason, but I'll cross they bridge when I get to it.

Frogs in my formula said...

OMG you kill me!

I have a jean skirt I just brought out of the closet. I wore in ONCE-- during a skinny weekend I was having in my 20s. I want to wear that skirt so bad. If only I could stop feeding my face with booze and chocolate.

Maybe tomorrow.

Frogs in my formula said...

P.S. Congrats on the 15 pounds. That's awesome and so does NOT suck donkey balls.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Way to go!! You ROCK! And you're going to be fitting in those skinny jeans in no time... How cool would it be to enjoy some of that popcorn whilst wearing the skinny jeans? You'll make it happen... ;)

Heather said...

WOW 15 pounds...congrats...i threw away all of my skinny jeans years ago....:(

Captain Dumbass said...

Congrats on your pants falling off. I won't even make fun of you for accidentally posting your Random Thoughts too early by accident and then pulling it back.

colepack said...

that is awesome that you are loosing.
Apparently, in my post 3rd kid hormonal rage, i tossed my skinny jeans adn it pisses me off. i tossed it all so i have nothing each time i go down a size. really anoying...