Friday, February 27, 2009

An open letter to Rush Limbaugh

Hi everyone – I have been a little out of touch this week. I have issues. Yeah, I know...who doesn’t.

There have been a few things bugging me this week, but the main thing would be that it appears god hates me. I’m not exactly sure why – I love Jesus. However, lately it has come to my attention that I don’t love Jesus the correct way. I think Gandhi said it best –

“I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

My experiences of late certainly reaffirm that message. For the last little while I have noticed a growing movement among many Christians, both public figures and regular joes, that is hard right leaning, conservative, judgemental, unforgiving, disrespectful and cruel.

I consider myself a Christian because it gives me comfort to believe something, and Jesus seems like as good a dude as any to buy stock in. He was the first social activist that got enough attention he was actually written about. He was all about helping the poor, comforting the suffering, and equal treatment for all. He loved women and the disabled and the sick. He thought everyone was a child of god and deserving of respect and kindness regardless of their race, creed, gender, orientation or health. He brought us the first pair of open-toed strappy sandals. JC rocked out with his cock out and I can’t for the life of me figure out when all these far right leaning conservative assholes decided Jesus was going to be THEIR leader.

They have somehow managed to take the history of this man whose entire mission was to bring peace to the world and distort it to such a place that its now actually a REASON to be an asshole. I know people who get up each day and spend their time trampling over everyone in their path and then head right over to church and thank Jesus for the strength in which to do it. They cite Jesus when they decide that only certain people are good enough to marry others, or when they send our teenagers over to fight a war for money and oil and get their legs blown off.

Well, I’m here to tell you that Jesus is pissed. He is not down with their stupid shit AT ALL. We are all here to work together to have happy lives and take care of our friends and neighbours, not to destroy each other and then name Jesus as the reason. All the conservatives who are using Jesus as the reason to be complete fucktards are going to end up in the big time-out chair in the sky when they kick it. You know the saying ‘Karma is a bitch?’ Well, Karma IS a bitch and she and Jesus are totally doing it.

Sorry for that little rant. I feel better.

On the lighter side, earlier this week I posted this picture –

A few of you were brave enough to tackle the weirdest, most unexplainable picture of all time. Go check ‘em out!

Keely at the unmom – story here
Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie - story here
Church-punk mom at Embellished Truth and Polite Fiction - story here (who hopefully still loves me after today's post)


Captain Dumbass said...

I meant to do that picture, but... well, I'm lazy. I think if God could arrange another FLOOD for his followers and start out from scratch the world would be a better place. I'm not sure how he'd manage that since they're everywhere, but that's not really my problem. There's nothing wrong with any of the world's religions, it's just the assholes that follow them.

PS. Thanks for that comment. That one actually made me laugh out loud for real.

ChurchPunkMom said...

Of course I still love you!!
I believe in Jesus. I don't believe in Karma.
I believe in loving one another. I don't believe in judging one another.
I believe in tolerance and equality. But I don't believe in supporting or condoning.

To my fellow Christians who fancy themselves fire and brimstone evangelists: you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Captain: sometimes I think it's a shame that God promised to never send another flood.. cause we sure could use one about now.. sometimes I wonder if He ever finds Himself kicking His own Almighty ass over that one..

ChurchPunkMom said...

oh, and Limbaugh? is a poop crumb.

Ginny Marie said...

"Big time out chair in the sky"? I love it! You certainly did have a post to write, and I'm glad you wrote it! (and glad I read it)

Keely said...

Bwahhahhahahah! Okay, you totally outdid me on pissing off Christians today. Nice work.

See, that Jesus you described? I'd follow him. It's the *religion* part I take issue with sometimes.

Casey said...

I'm with Keely. I'm not a believer but I don't judge those who are. I'm often astounded by the behavior of some of the most so called "devout Christians". Live and let live, people. Great post!

Wii Mommies said...

I love that picture. I read all the takes on it and they are HILARIOUS!

Michelle said...

BWAHAHAHAHA... you had me at: "JC rocked out with his cock out".
I'm not a believer myself, but you do make him sound pretty cool ;)

Frogs in my formula said...

I think you get the award for most interesting transition. LMAO.

Still laughing.

Oh, shit.

For the record, I like what ChurchPunkMom said.

Stacy Uncorked said...

BWAHAHAHAHA! You GO girl! Very well said! :)

And I like what ChurchPunkMom said, too. ;)

Ginny Marie said...

P.S. I love your blog, and loved writing a story for your "assignment," and so I have an award for you over at my blog!

Jenni said...

I'm so with you; it totally pissed me off that the right has co-opted Jesus. I mean, Jesus is way more on our team - serously, would Jesus drop bombs or carry a gun? I doubt it.

what would Jesus do? he'd smack the shit out of rush limbaugh is my guess.

Raven said...


So well said! I love that quote by Gandhi, it is so true. I used to be a Christian but just couldn't stomach my fellow church-goers. They were all so full of hatred and hypocrisy. I decided to just be spiritual as opposed to being a Christian. There are way too many people out there who call themselves Christians but do not live a Christ-like life.