Monday, September 21, 2009

Fat Chick vs. Food - Week Four

I wasn’t able to get to my fat lady boot camp classes as planned because it was a very busy week at work and I had to work some evenings. This means I’ve missed two classes and I’m worried the other fat ladies won’t accept me now. Then I’ll be the loser who will be standing there alone when it’s time to pick a partner. That means I’ll have to pair up with Trainer Lady and next to her I look like Dom Deluise in girly workout clothes. Minus the beard, of course.

Speaking of Trainer Lady, she’s pretty fucking awesome. I don’t even have to suppress the urge to make fun of her, because while yes, she’s is iddy biddy and probably needs to wear weighted shoes when it’s windy outside, she somehow manages to never make me feel like a big fat person she feels sorry for. I like that about her. I’ve known other fitness crazed people in my life, and pretty much all of them were raging douche bags or mindless bimbos who would say the snottiest things ever and then try to wipe it all away with an extremely insincere, “Just kidding!”

The other amazing part about her is the never ending bag of crazy exercise tricks she’s got up her sleeve. Every time I see her she’s got some new horrible, yet beautifully effective (read: torturous) exercise for me to do. I’ve never been able to stump her, and it’s hysterical because she LOVES that shit. I have a theory that she really wanted to be a dominatrix but decided to go into kinesiology because she needed a profession she could tell her parents about.

So, I guess what I’m saying is that if you happen to be in the south Saskatchewan area, and you are fat or gimpy or both, get a hold or Trainer Lady. She’ll whip you good.

Probably not in *that* way though.

9 comments:

Frogs in my formula said...

I'm starting an exercise class tomorrow. Last time I stretched I ended up pulling a muscle in my neck and needing a neckbrace.

Can I copy your title but change it to "Pussy ass chick vs. food"?

Keely said...

She hasn't tried to kill me yet. She'll build me up, THEN break me down. Like a cult!

Jennifer said...

I hope mine is that good. I signed up for boot camp. It starts Thursday. I'm excited and scared at the same time.

Jamie said...

My trainer lady kicked my ass so bad last week I couldn't walk for 4 days. Time for my epsom salt and apple cider vinegar bath. Hmmmmm....

Tricia McWhorter said...

She sounds like Jillian Michaels on The Biggest Loser. I think you're awesome just considering sticking with this.

Michele said...

You'll get right back into it.

Me? I've never started. It sounds like a lot of work. I need an extortionist in order to get those evil voices out of my head. They say things like "why work out? You won't stay with it". Sadly, they are right.

Casey said...

Your trainer lady sounds cool. I've always hated the degrading trainers who make you feel like shit and only help you since it's their "job". I had a trainer once who used to rattle off the reps while he checked out the hot chicks at the gym and would sometimes ask me if I thought he could land a certain chick. While I was sweating my ass off. Ugh.

Chef Eureka said...

Hehehehe, Good luck!

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