It’s Random Tuesday again folks! Ahh, it’s good to be back. I missed last week because I was having a personal crisis and forcing my brain into unstructured behaviour was just too tall an order.
I have recently met a woman who uses every possible opportunity to mention to anyone within ear shot that she’s working on completing her master's degree. Within the first thirty seconds of meeting anyone new it manages to come up in conversation.
“Hi there, nice to meet you. What do you do?” I’M COMPLETING MY MASTER’S DEGREE , and I’m a teacher.
“Hey, did you get that email?” I HAVE A MASTERS DEGREE, I know how to read email."
At first it was odd, then it was obnoxious, but now it’s fucking hilarious. I have started a new game called Six Degrees of Masters Degree Separation. I think of the most random, bizarre thing to say to her and see how quickly she can bring it around to her MASTERS DEGREE. So far I’ve tried, “Hey, do you like monkeys?” and it only took four steps to get us there. Monkeys = rainforest = environment = class she took as part of her MASTERS DEGREE. I see her a few times a week usually, so I’m open to suggestions for questions. I’ll report back on progress next Tuesday.
It’s spring here finally! Thank god. I know you’re all as happy as I am because you don’t have to listen to me whine anymore. Yeah, I know it was annoying, but that was honestly the worst winter I have ever experienced in my entire life. I think Mother Nature finally got laid because she was being a major bitch for five solid months. Maybe JC fixed her up with an apostle or something. I’ve heard Luke was something of a babe.
My new workplace has a fridge stocked with all kind of drinks. It’s pretty awesome, but there are no diet drinks so the temptation for a coke ….a cold, cold frosty, bubbly and delicious can of coke (Barry White is giving me the oooooohhhhhhh yeeaahhhhhhhh in my head right now), is torturous. The only non-42-grams-of-sugar beverage they have is V8, and you all know how I feel about that. I’m going to bring some sparkling water in tomorrow. I like that stuff. It’s fancy.
I miss my beautiful big office with a window. I have a cubical now, and I really didn’t think I would care, but I do. Natural light can really do a lot for ones mood. No, I didn’t take a demotion. It’s more of a ‘big fish in a small pond’ vs. ‘small fish in a big pond’ kind of arrangement. It’s okay. When I take over the world I’m pretty sure I’ll get an office again.
Drop by on Keely and see what’s up with the rest of cyberland. There are a lot of people signing on for RTT, so clearly it's THE place to be.
28 comments:
Idea for your "masters degree separation" project:
casually try and drop one of these totally random puppies into your conversations:
Frankenstein
drowning kittens
tanning beds
Fonzie and
jungle love
I tried to keep it clean b/c, ya know. she's a co-worker.
Hm. How about the weather, some zombies, or fairies?
Mmmm...Coke.
There is this girl I use to work with, in the store one day she announced to the whole freaking store about 20 time that she was fixing to get her masters. Who freaking cares -- good for you -- big whoop a de doo (Not sure of the spelling)
Send Luke on over here to Illinois...we must have a different Mother Nature because today is effin' cold!
I know a woman like that...She mentions that her husband is a police officer to everone within seconds of meeting her, or finds a way to work it into the conversation somehow. Annoying. I would push her but would be scared her husband would come after me!! : )
Hey, is that a tuna fish sandwich? I HAVE A MASTERS DEGREE, mayo makes me feel queasy!
Would it be cheating to say "When you are not working on your Master's, what do you do?"
I'm totally cracking up because your Google ads are all saying "Master's Degree" something or another...
Question for Master Degree Friend:
"What would you think if the president was a closet transvestite?"
You could go for the gross: vomit, snot, mucus, etc.....
I just gave up my beautiful office with windows for I don't know yet. I'm afraid....hold me:)
I think working and achieving a Master's Degree is wonderful and if you can do it, go for it. Talking about it incessantly, not so much.
can i have my OWN office when you take over the world? i share one right now and while it has a window, the person i share it with sits next to it and therefore controls light output, temperature and fresh air saturation.
Hey...next itme you see her, ask her, "Do you know how far you can shove that master's degree up your ....?" ;)
Happy RTT!
ROFL @ your masters degree woman. I know people just like that.
Linda
Ooh ooh definitely keep us posted on Master's Degree lady. I have a couple of conversation topics:
blogging
colonoscopy
the color yellow
a field of pansies (naw, she'll just reference her classmates)
What if you throw it into your sentences before she can throw it into hers? Would that freak her freak?
As someone who once worked in a windowless office, it makes a huge difference. Being able to see the sky occasionally can do wonders for a person's disposition.
Congrats on the Springiness. You know I completed my Master's degree in the Spring...;) I'm kidding, I'm totally uneducated.
Oh, there is little worse than intellectual snobbery. Someone at my office used to add "Dr." to his name on his email footer. Which I guess would be okay if he was working at a effing DOCTOR'S office instead of a freaking gossip magazine. For realz.
Happy random tuesday!
Ask her if she knows of a good OBGYN to go to and see if that has anything to do with her masters. I used to work with a dude who had his doctorate and he was all "call me Dr" so I called him by his first name just to piss him off. He needed me too since he was a dumbass and I had to fix his computer at least once a week. Heh.
we lost power in my office 3 times yesterday. i was very grateful for my window with its lovely view overlooking the parking lot
She's worse than a name-dropper. She sounds like a one-upper. Let's get 'er.
Have I told you lately, and I'm pretty sure that I haven't, how awesome it is over here? I'm a lurker more often than not (sorry). I'm shy like that. I didn't used to be shy, it all happened when I was pursuing my master's degree....
I love the Master's Degree chick. I would make it my life's mission to screw with her on a daily basis.
Wait - do I need to have a Master's Degree to leave a comment over here? ;) I've known people like that - you're right it is SO annoying! I'm sorry you are subjected to a cubicle vs. your former window office - but hopefully your plans to take over the world are still moving forward at a fast pace to it's just a stop gap. ;)
Big deal. Does she have it yet? Just working on one don't impress me much. Oh, and did I mention that I actually have a master's degree? Now, actually HAVING a master's degree is something worth mentioning with zombies and pap smears and tuna sandwiches, which of course I do all the time because everyone really cares a lot. In fact, just the other day my friend was crying about something and I mentioned that I have a master's degree and she was so happy.
This person and her master's degree cracks me up. We have someone with a similar disorder in our office. Only she has a story to one-up your story whatever it may be. You could have just confessed to having severe gas and she will tell you that she not only has had severe gas but she had to be hospitalized for it. It makes talking to her a real challenge.
Wow...you got a ton of funny advice for Masters Degree woman!!! I'm not quick on the drawl like that....I like to stew instead.
And WHOOO HOOO for Spring!!!
This is the funniest freaking thing ever. Next time, try, "So, I've been debating about whether to get a Brazilian..."
ideas for the "Masters Degree Seperation Project"
Ninjas
Blind dates
Hurricanes
Famine
Tell Mrs. Masters that you can import bull semen into Canada on a duty free basis.
Why? I dunno, but I work for Customs and every time something weird comes up, I use the bull semen card. 'cause that's how I roll.
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