I’m still having a hard time this week staying on the straight and narrow post vacation. I worked out four times, and it was hit and miss with the food. The weekend is still a bit of a problem for me.
Also, I’ve been struggling a little bit with the role of the blog. It certainly helps me – no question about it, but what is the message I’m communicating here? Someone very close to me said something about my blog the other day that was so off the mark I found it quite offensive. He said, “Yeah, the blog. I’ve read it. It’s just a way to slam skinny people in a light hearted way”
Huh? That is not at all the point. Not even remotely close or even almost resembling the point. At all. Um, dude? This blog is about ME. Interesting that the people closest to me who should be my rock of support don’t get it. Strangers from other countries? You all seem to get it just fine.
I’m not just ‘slamming’ skinny people here, in fact I think I make fun of myself more than anyone else anyway. I throw some jokes in here and there because it’s my writing style and I’m hoping you will take my wife, pleeease. Ba da dom.
I do not have some bone to pick with skinny people – everyone I know is skinny. Seriously – 100% of all of my friends are thin people. The biggest problem any of them have is trying to lose the last five or ten pounds of hanging around baby weight. I’d be pretty lonely if I had some grudge against skinny people. I’ve had the same friends for twenty years and body shape is not a qualifier. They don’t give a shit that I’m fat. I need them, they get me. Besides, there are plenty of other reasons to make fun of them and I do, frequently. Hey, it's just all part of my charm!
This is actually fairly important to me, what I’m doing here. It’s my own on-line journal and I keep myself honest all week with thoughts of having to update the world on Monday. While it may look stupid, this is my way of trying to accomplish something that has been pretty hard for me for a lot of years. I put it out there like this to get the support I need. And, it’s working. While I have some good weeks and some bad weeks, it’s working. Casey, the head Nagger-in-Chief over at Hasay was kind enough to ask me to guest post this week's Hasay update located here. Go check it out! I’m very flattered she asked me because it means that someone somewhere is reading this and doesn’t think I’m just a bittered old fat girl who is a stupid joke. I’m a snarky, overly sarcastic fat girl who writes her own stupid jokes. There is a difference people!
Usually when someone I love really disappoints me I eat crap. I hereby vow not to fall into that again. This week will be a better week! I’m going to try a few new things – new exercises, new foods, some new drugs and possibly an eating disorder. Ha! See? I kid.
(Disclaimer - that joke was not directed at any skinny people. I love you in all your lu-lu lemon glory)
I just weighed myself and I’ve lost 3.5 pounds this week. Really?? Wow - this has got to be some kind of miracle. I'm going to double check my bowl of cornflakes now because the face of Jesus must be floating in there.
This means I lost the 2.5 pounds I gained last week, plus another pound on top of that! Do you know what this means?? I'm officially over the first landmark, the FIRST TEN POUNDS! Yay me!! I'm mentally jumping up and down high-fiving myself right now.
So far I have lost 10.5 pounds. I have 49.5 to go.
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10 comments:
That is AWESOME!!!
Whoever the "he" is should be smacked upside the head. Never feel bad about what you write on your blog. It's your space, it's how you feel. Sounds like that person was perhaps projecting his own ideas or feelings onto your writing.
Congratulations on the first milestone!!! (And thank you for inspiring me today.)
See you are one of those skinny people!!! Sorry that you were disappointed, some people don't remember that words can hurt too. Your doing great - at blogging and HASAYing.
That is so many pounds lost! Way to go. We are pulling for you. Only good words from me.
Is the new thing "spirit training"? Because I've heard so much about it.
Hurray!!!!!
Hip Hip Horray!!!
WooHoo! Great job achieving your first milestone! :) I loved your guest post over at Casey's...you ROCK! :)
WAY TO GO! Reading about your success seriously gives me some hope - and some motivation I have seriously been missing for quite a while!
I think you're very brave to let folks you actually KNOW read your blog - I haven't told anyone about mine because I'm not too sure what they might think of me after they read it. Ha!
Anyway, whatever you're doing - keep doing more of it - great job!!
Ten pounds is so awesome. And for the record, I've never gotten the impression with your updates that you have a beef with skinny people. I keep the blog in the closet from most of the people I know, just because I figure they won't get it. And because that way I can talk about them if I want to. ;) Here's to ten more lost pounds.
Dude, I'm sorry someone took issue with your blog. You don't "knock" skinny people so much as joke about wanting to be one, I get it. My best friend is so fucking thin (after three kids) and thinks she's fat and I want to lambaste her when she starts talking like that, it's so frustrating. I get that everyone has body issues and you get that too. You NEVER come across as a hater, just a jokester and that's why I dig you.
Woo hoo on the ten lbs, I'm so glad all of your hard work is paying off. I got on my Wii Fit for the first time in a week and it said I gained 3.4lbs. I think I'm going in the wrong direction.
Good luck this week and try not to get mad about your friend/whoever's comment and please DO NOT ever censor yourself or what's the point of blogging. There are only a few people in real life who know about my blog and they all give me the eye roll whenever it comes up. Fuck em. And BTW, I do love your updates and was honored to have you guest post.
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