It’s getting to be that time of year again. You know what I’m talking about – the time of year you try to balance seeing your family/co-workers against what you actually want to be doing during the holidays. You know what would be really great? If you could sign up for Christmas gatherings buffet style. I could take a decent helping of Sister-in-Law with a side of crazy (but always entertaining) Aunt, followed by just a smidge of Mother for dessert. But, hmmmm……I think this year I’m going to pass on the Cousin. The Cousin always seems to give me gas.
Workplace gatherings also apply. While I’m all for having drinks with the marketing department, I could really do without that woman from my office who sits in the corner mentally counting how many Cosmo’s I’ve had. We never invite her to join us any other time of the year, why are we obligated to do it now? The birth of Christ? That was 2000 years ago. I’m not sure how that event means I have to hang out with someone who thinks a pink jacket complements red slacks and has bunch of tiny gnome figurines on her desk.
Last year I was invited to a Christmas party for government secretaries. Most of these women I had never met. Government buildings are scattered all over this city, so our communications are largely over email. Out of sheer curiosity I went. They all seemed nice enough in cyber-secretary land, so I thought I would check out what they were like in person. You know what I found out? They are all SIXTY YEARS OLD! I sat at the table participating in forced conversation all the while thinking, “Is this my fate? Am I really going to still be doing this job in 30 years?” These women could remember where they were when Kennedy was shot for crying out loud. It was the most depressing day of my life.
Yet, ‘tis the season and all that shit so I have to suck it up and hang out with people who I have spent almost the entire year avoiding. Now, I don’t want to sound like a big scrooge here because I LOVE Christmas. I go all crazy with the decorations, parties, gift buying, charitable giving, etc., etc., but the mandated involvement of people who are not really in my life any other time of the year is always a little odd to me. Oh well. I guess I always have the token drunken brawl that will inevitably break out somewhere to look forward to. Hey, maybe this year it will happen at the government secretary’s party! That would be AWESOME.